When people ask "how are things" my canned answer is "good, some ups and downs", and on most days this is very true. Some days I am drowning. Let's focus on the good days and the many accomplishments. Nina smiles a lot!!!! I really think this is the best accomplishment! Her smile dances like diamonds. The girls are learning so many things and exceeding my every expectation. We knew Nina had some intellectual issues, but we were not sure of the extent. With the help of our public high school we have a great idea of where she is at. She is in a program at school that will teach her life skills like shopping, making choices, basic hygiene things like that. She goes off campus with her class every week to either go to a store or a restaurant. She has a friend in her class that she talks about often. I am excited to say she now can do her laundry with a tiny bit of guidance with the washer. Usually I just need to stand there and she remembers. She helps me fold everyone's clothes and brings everyone's clothes to the respective rooms. That took us a while to learn, but she now has victory. She takes garbage out everyday and takes care of the cat box and the dog poop. She is job oriented and loves hearing she did a good job. We are trying to teach her good food choices, but old habits are difficult to overcome. There are some things that need constant reminding like be kind or not interrupting when people are talking. I am so proud of how far she has come.
Katya has joined the cross county team at school so we are learning teamwork and even if you don't run in a meet you still need to be there to cheer on your team. She is learning hard work has a great reward and it is okay to make a mistake. I think that has been the hardest to learn. The teachers at school like her and she likes them, except for one. Katya speaks really good English and I think some people assume she understands just as good. Well she doesn't. She loves when she does good on an assignment, but hates homework :)) She goes to Mathnasium four or five days a week to get a better handle on Algebra. She has a great group of friends that have taught her so much about our culture what is acceptable and what isn't in teen social settings. They are who really helped her with her English. Katya love coming home and talking my ear off about her day. I would say she is adjusting better then I ever could have expected. She has been talking a lot about being a translator for people who adopt from Ukraine and that makes me so happy. When she got home in January she wanted to be a hip hop instructor. She accepted Christ as her Savior in February and was Baptized at Easter. We pray together a lot and she is really growing in her walk with Christ. She went to the youth service at church this past Sunday morning and loved it. She even asked if she could go on the mission trip to Brazil. Not so sure about that, but I am so glad she even wants to. She likes helping me cook and has even made dinner for all of us. She is a complete sugar addict and that is proving hard to break. Whit her being on sports she needs to really cut her sugar intake down. I made her go through the pantry and identify all the sugar items and she got rid of a bag of candy and cookies she knew she would eat if they stayed in the pantry. I was so proud of her. She gets plenty of sugar in the mass amounts of fruit she eats.
Erynne graduated over the summer and is working almost full time cleaning houses. She doesn't necessarily like cleaning, but she really likes not having to deal with people. She will be starting JJC in January. She is really interested in interior design. She has been really helpful around here and we enjoy brunch together a couple times a month. It has been exciting to see her blossom into a young adult.
It has been amazing to watch the girls grow and learn. I can't believe it has only been 7 months. We have all learned so much about each other and ourselves. Being a parent to an adopted teen is so much different then raising a bio teen. We need to build a relationship before anything ease can really happen. A relationship that takes years not months and here we are just months in and both Richard and I have a good relationship with both of the girls. We look forward to building our relationships with the girls more each day. I am excited to see what a year will bring.
I am closing with a challenge. Not everyone is called to adopt, but everyone is called to help the orphans. That can look different to everyone. Here are some ways to help an orphan. Find a missionary who pours his life into orphans (if you need help finding one I have several I could put you in contact with). Donate to active fundraisers for parents who are adopting (it is an extremely expensive process), help with fundraisers (I had so many wonderful people help us with every one of our fundraisers), bring some meals after the child is home, send gift cards for clothing or groceries (extra mouths are extra expensive), send notes of texts of encouragement. Take the parent out for coffee or just a chat. This is not an exhaustive list by any means and any help helps. It is an adjustment for all. Most of all remember trauma doesn't disappear just because the child has been adopted. Give them space, but be close.
I want to thank every single person who had any hand in any part of our journey of adoption. We have been loved deeply by so many.
Terri
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